Advice Me: He Claims To Love Me But Beats Me Constantly

tell tale thursday penastory

We got this disturbing mail about a woman complaining of how her husband beats her up and then professes love to her afterwards which leaves her in a state of confusion. Please read her situation and drop your mature comments only, no vulgarity or insults.

 “I love my husband so much despite his new found love of beating me up even in front of our three years old son, we have been married for 5 years now and he never laid his hands on me not until last year November 13th when I served his food and forgot to bring along his drinking water and ever since then, he keeps beating me on daily bases even sometimes, twice a day. He also calls me names and has recently stopped me from working. I am scared to tell anyone because I will be called a fool for still being in the marriage. Besides, what will people say if i come out of my marriage that i have been in for barely 5 years. I am so confused on what to do, I love him and I know he loves me too despite how treats me. I can’t even leave because my child would never forgive me for leaving him to grow up in the hands of another woman. So please, help decide on what to do as I can’t loose my child and marriage just yet.”

Please be reminded that we do not publish the identity of those that send in their relationship problems and we advice that you have only mature comments and responses to the mail as rude comments would not be approved. You can also send in your relationship issues by sending us an email via

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16 Responses to Advice Me: He Claims To Love Me But Beats Me Constantly

  1. Sinaj says:

    Run for ur life. but if u love being beaten, you can stay back.


  2. STFUareUGod says:

    I’ll always say this, never stay in a violent marriage. It’s suicidal


  3. UtenWunson says:

    I ll advise you see a marriage councillor, something is definitely wrong some where which needs to be retraced and amended!


  4. Esther Fabian says:

    And you’ve not killed him? poisoned his food or something?


    • Sinaj says:

      I hail o! I hope the poison is just to give him serious stomach pain But not to kill o!


    • Rest says:

      Kill the father of her child and spend many years behind bars, wow ! you know your opinion abouh r/ships n marital issues makes Me worry abouh your future husby


  5. Tallest says:

    Don’t you have a god in your village? Goan and sacrifice him there


  6. Lyech says:

    Try study the cause of the beating,try improve on that aspect without complaining…Show to him with ur feeling that u really love him but the hardship is much.


  7. ogunrinade temitope says:

    According to my own childish thinking,Love can never be violent,love is caring and patient,if he loves u,he will NEVER lay his hand on u


  8. Half African says:

    if i am in that position and i have talked and talk I will let him be. Train my child with love and peace no matter d choas. For hubby chai no no no no. One day he touches me i will giv him d warning of his life. Get a job against his will love my job I will amaze him dat in btw his craze i have peace within and outside


  9. Martin says:

    He wants to rectify d dogmatic behavior in u. If nt, he doesnt lyk u.


  10. Sultan of Brunei says:

    if he suddenly developed thet attitude after 5 yrs in marriage then something is wrong somewhere,

    sometimes it has to do with mental imbalance due to financial issues.

    the beating is the outcome of something wrongly going on in his mental faculty, find that out and help fix it,

    5 yrs of marriage is more than enough time for u to have established a strong communication technique with ur hubby

    talk to with him .

    wish u all d best.


  11. Daniel says:

    What a story!!!
    He has not laid his hands on u for 5 yrs, until last november, dis is wher d needle is pitching my heart. 5 yrs is not 5 months. Somtin is wrong somwher. I think ur hubby’s love 4 u has fade away, n cheating is written all over his face which u have nt see yet. My Dear sister, I am not advicing u to leave dat marriage, No, dat is never d solution. What u need to do is to sit ur hubby down n talk to him. Ask him if there’s somtin u do dats makin him to act dis way. N ask for forgiveness. Learn to also respect ur hubby, cos we men don’t like it wen our wife’s or girlfriend look down on us. Respect him, he is d head of d home. Above all, tell dis to God in prayer to bring back dis man u knew 5 yrs ago. I wish u Goodluck.


  12. Prince Prinz says:

    If he beats you , beat him back. Use a baton or something like that so that he’d feel how it feels when getting flogged too… And when the fight gets intense, kiss him and tell him you love him, In that hot mood have a good sex. While he’s banging u , make him realise you’re not his punchbag, that you’re meant to be fukced dirty not beaten dirty grin… That’s how women handle violent men where I come from. Whenever you fight, keep your baby away. That’s very important.


  13. Richy says:

    I know you are confused about the correlation between love and beating…

    I guess he loves u so much and I guess you love him too. I Will suggest u save up some money and buy him a punching bag as a gift. do this as giving him the benefit of doubt..

    when you buy the gift, explain to him that U understand that sometimes human handle stresses differently. some will go out and smoke, some will punch something and sometimes mistakenly beat up their loved ones, some will drink etc…just to release stress and frustration,

    As a loving wife, you have observed that he loved to punch. so you have bought a punching bag…Tell him u love him and u are guessing he loves you too but if he ever touched you again, Then he lives you no choice to think otherwise….That he should regard the gift from you as a yellow card…


  14. Wunmo says:

    Recently I still heard about a woman whose husband beat her to death. There is life after marriage… But you won’t get a life after you die. And when u r dead… I give him 2 to 3 months… He would marry another woman. Marriage is not a do or die affair. Being married doesnt necessarily make you happy. There are many organisations in nigeria now that you can run to. You can easily get divorce and even gain the custody of your child. If you feel the man can still change… Then maybe u should talk to him or someone he highly respects im hez family….if after all dis.. Nothing change.. Den u know ur way out.


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