The Dog Style

Image Credit: wikimedia.org

Image Credit: wikimedia.org

I struggled to assemble my bag and baggage as I set out for school; the new session. As I kept my bags in apple-pie order, there came Champ. Champ is my Doberman that I love so much. He (do not mind the use of the pronouns ‘He and Him’ for Champ) came rummaging my well arranged belongings trying to play. I spanked him; my way of telling him I was in no mood for play. He sat down and kept wagging his tail. I strapped a bag to my back, held firmly to my luggage and rolled out of the house. He frolicked about me in unbridled exuberance. I was morose at this point so I showed little or no interest in his purposed merriment. As I walked a spitting distance from the house, I remonstrated at his evangelic display of accompaniment. I chided him to go back home. Soon, Champ began to cry and whine. I was loath to give in to his wiles. However, so emotional was it that I had to drop my bag and go back to him. I raced my fingers down his wooly fur and stroked his head. He still continued to whine. He was missing his master already as he knew I was leaving him. I was greatly surprised at his ingenuity. I had to summon courage to go back to my bags and continue my sojourn to school. He importuned in following me but I resisted him. He later stood aloof and cried so loudly I couldn’t help but be emotional about it. I deadened my emotions by deafening my ears with embossed songs through the ear-piece that hung around my neck. On and on, the voice soon faded away.
As I continued the tempestuous Odyssey back to UNIBEN for a new session, different thoughts inundated my mind. The act the dog displayed kept me wondering. As a dog, Champ could deduce I was leaving and it started to cry. He loves me so much to miss me, that was the first thought. Secondly, I asked him to sit and resisted his movement and he obeyed. He stopped following and only kept on crying. He loves me, he knows I am leaving him, he wants to go with me, I don’t want him to follow, He is LOYAL enough even in pain to stay put, that was the second thought. I smiled vacantly (as my Dean would put it). I admired the dog’s spirit as did I admire God’s masterful wonderfulness. Unlike humans, the dog is loyal even till death and that’s why it is man’s best friend. Unlike humans, the dog is never pretentious. When it is angry, happy, sad, hungry, pressed, demanding attention or missing someone, the master knows because it is obvious. That is why it is easy to tame or lead, unlike humans.

When I resumed school, I tried to apply something I learnt from my dog in my day-to-day interactions with people. I mean, if I miss you, why not tell you? If I am upset with you, why not just say? If I am unhappy and a friend asks me “what’s wrong?” Why not just say? If I love the way you look why not just say? If I want something from you, why not just say? If I am angry, why not just show it? Lol. This seemed so easy but it was a yardstick which perspicaciously showed how complicated humans are and at the same time, it was a guide to solving human complications. I started with my acid test.

First, I told as many persons as I could, “you look so ravishing,”as soon as it came to my mind, they were beautiful at the point. Many persons appreciated this and I was encouraged to say it more. Someday, I told a girl I met in my faculty she looked beautiful. Expectedly, she didn’t seem amazed. She just gave a smirk and didn’t utter a word. I felt foolish and stultified. I re-adjusted my suit and continued anyway. Again was when I told a senior colleague that she was easy on the eyes. She told me to get busy. Omg! I was vexed and sullen. I smiled and ran along anyway. I kept on with what I termed the Dog style. The rules were simple: speak your mind and react just the way your emotions tell. Whenever I was in a bad mood, I would simply say. Whenever I loved something, I would simply say. Then came a problem. People didn’t seem to be comfortable with the way I bared my mind. Many began to find me boring while others began to repel me. I wondered why! I always appreciated that my dog bared his mind. I never repelled him. How come people find my acts tedious? I wondered the more. There was something I failed to learn from my dog. Whenever I repelled my dog and shoved it away, he would never come back to me until I asked it to come. This was usually to prove that he had self-worth and indeed, i would definitely call it close. Hehehe…Funny right? I decided to try this – when people hurt you, never apologise for being real, just walk away and let the people who deserve you come back to you. When I did this, I lost a lot of persons I really cared about. When they hurt me, they never came back to apologise. In fact, I would have to beg them when I couldn’t wait any longer. But then as time went on, I found the courage to let go of those who always hurt me for no reason, probably to make a fool of me, not because I no longer cared but because I deserved to be appreciated and not tolerated.

The Dog Style (be real, bare your mind and if they aren’t cool with it or repel you, move on) had a limit; this limit I learnt also from the dog. Whenever I repelled Champ from me, it would avoid me until I call but if I didn’t, it would always come back to me as a loyal friend. He would come to show also that it wasn’t selfish. It wasn’t concerned only about its emotion and even in pains, it still cared for its master. When I discovered this, I went back to my friends to show that like champ, I am a loyal friend. Although it made me seem foolish sometimes, Alas! It worked. After making the attempt at my friends, we would be cool once more. No matter how much I cared about some friends, they just never saw it.

Something happened someday. A friend of mine who visited my house on hebdomadal basis met Champ. Champ tried to be friendly with him but he spanked him so hard. Champ ran away to safety. When this friend of mine went back to fetch Champ, he got bitten by him. This got me wondering. Despite the guy’s frequent visit, Champ still bit him for spanking him. Champ wouldn’t do this to me. This got me wondering. I then realised that Champ wasn’t just loyal to anyone. It was only loyal to those he had chosen to be loyal to. This was to show that it may be a dog, but he wasn’t a push over. I was confused. What does this mean? Should I drop some friends who aren’t loyal to me too? I decided to see it from a different angle. Champ demonstrated that some persons are friends while others are strangers. He would do anything for a friend and not a stranger. This was it! For this simple reason, I fought to keep my friendship.

Do you know I tried all of these but they always failed at some point? Humans, are the most difficult entities to understand. Caprice, idiosyncrasies, eccentricities and vicissitudes of Life mark the problem with humans. Humans are complicated. If you react to people just the way they treat you, you will NEVER find happiness on your part. People are burdened by malice, spite and ill-will they harbour towards others. Living a free and happy life means that you must learn to first put a smile on the cheek of others. Those who are disturbed by how people react towards them or how much people evaluate them never live happily. Sometimes, all it requires is just some little more effort and a little more time. I sit in class sometimes and while the lecturer teaches, a lot of thoughts race through my mind. I am burdened. I look at the class and see a lot of persons seated, paying rapt attention to the teachings. Some of them smile generously while some others look so dismal and do not understand why people laugh even to the most obvious drollery. I am sensitive enough to read that deep down the minds of these persons, they are as burdened as I am. Different persons have different problems. If you want to be a friend, sometimes you just have to push a little further. When you ask a friend “How are you?” And the person responds by saying “I’m fine,” it doesn’t always mean it’s true. Sometimes, take time to hear out the problems they are passing through and help when you can. When you do this, do not expect anything. Do it because you are a friend and not because you want the exact same thing. If they return it, fine but if they never do, do not hold it against them. Somehow, you have placed a smile on the ‘heart’ of another and that is all that matters. There is always someone that will care about yours.
Take this or leave it, when you are already in the position of caring about your friends; you are always the one calling them or messaging, it will never change. People do not change for good so easily. You will keep caring but do not wilt and do not expect them to care back. Someone else will always care about you. What is most important is that you have succeeded to put a smile on the face of another. Those you care about do not have to say how much they appreciate it but really, they do or they will someday. You only get hurt when you attach expectations to people’s actions. Do not expect people to be nice to you, just do yours and let nature take its course. Just seated in class someday before the lecturer commenced teaching, I asked a friend some time ago ‘Please, I got my ATM card seized by the machine; do you have any idea what I should do to get it back?’ and she responded, ‘I have a lecturer to listen to’ ouch! That hurt. I got angry deep down but then I snapped out of it for a simple reason. I expected her to be nice but she wasn’t. Truthfully, I only wanted to initiate a conversation with her but somehow I got fooled. Being nice is a luxury some cannot afford. They may want to be nice but they never can because they do not understand this article. Being nice to others is a gift. If you can put up a smile on the cheek of another then you are just one hell of a Jesus Christ the world is looking for. A friend is one that will always sit and watch you do your thing and say within, ‘When you want me I will always be there for you’. Like Champ, I will always be there for you my friend. Just when you need me, I will be there to hear you out. This is my simple philosophy and I hope you buy it but if you don’t, I am simply talking turkey.

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About MR. POSSIBLE

My name is Destiny Ogedegbe. I'm a promising lawyer in training, a perspiring teacher and a despairing optimist. I have a liking for art, music and writing. I believe in the fundamental interconnectedness of things; that True Love exists, that we are way better than people would have us believe. I am Mr. Possible; I'm the Scribbler!
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2 Responses to The Dog Style

  1. Dodeye says:

    Makes a lot of sense. Love this article.

    Like

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