There is this fizz that comes with it. You feel like you are literally burning out. You have jitters, you get nervous. Oh gosh! You can’t even think straight. Your heart skips even at the sound of their names. You quiver when you see them, even expectedly. Her smile could give you a boner. His smile makes you feel delicately loved. You are sure you love him, he feels same too. You don’t want to spend a day without him and him, you. (Laughs) This is damn interesting. You would call her without reservations, she would do same. She would wait for your calls and feel loved. You wouldn’t mind stealing mummy’s phone to put a call across, he would borrow airtime a number of times. Long chats, long calls, late night messages, all to prove you are both worth it. Very little things and details will mean a lot to you both, as far as handkerchiefs. You feel great with the person. You tell yourself, ‘this is the right person.’ You both tell yourself it has to be just more than this. Voila! It becomes a matter of extended dilection, In fact a more-than-just-being-friends stuff. It’s no cupboard love; it’s a chemistry. He asks you the question, you say YES like mama never wanted against it.
Now you get comfortable with him and he, you. You lock hands, change names. He gives you a name for being his. He earns a name you saved for your king. Everything is perfect. This is usually where you break walls and jump bones. The intimacy brings comfort, comfort with each other strengthens the trust, so-and-so, and this goes on for…just as long.
Months go by, they are both thick as thieves. Soon, fights come, arguments come but you hold to each other. He pisses you off, you forgive him and he, you. It continues. Feelings begin to fade. He barely calls, she never does. The long night calls are no more, the love poems also. You both go to bed without saying your good nights. At this stage, it is normal. She realises someday he hasn’t been calling at night for a while, she lets it pass, ‘He is probably too busy’ she tells herself. Soon, he realises same; she hasn’t been calling either. She doesn’t accept it, he blames her. ‘Is she still loyal?’ He ponders but they move on. Nothing is said to each other. They no longer hold hands neither do they spend hours together. They are always busy now. They always tell each other ‘He/She will always understand.’ Of course they do understand. He keeps pulling strings of friends to keep him busy, she keeps ‘being a girl’ to get busy. They hinge the relationship on understanding and trust. They both observe their attitudes but they never talk about it. After all, ‘we are not new in this. We’ll sort ourselves’ they tell themselves. La da dee, this keeps on for…as long.
This time, all they ever did together becomes mere memories. Ego sets in. Her fizz is going, he is not sure if she is loyal anymore. He annoys, he barely apologizes. When he does, she strains it for longer than necessary. She doesn’t want to forgive him. He becomes cold. He doesn’t care anymore. She is indifferent too. It becomes normal to bear the hurt and normal not to apologise. None opens up to each other anymore. Deep down they know they are straining. This time, “I love you” becomes “Do you love me?” They tell themselves ‘Shit happens’. Then, every little action becomes a reason to be angry, a reason to disagree. She realises he is not so cute after all, he realises she isn’t the only babe around. They find excuses and justifications. The little things he would ordinarily tell her no longer matters. She used to tell him she was travelling but now, it’s not really a big deal. They are screaming only to see who is louder. This lingers for… as long.
Someday he realises just how much he has missed her. He realises just how much he still loves her. He calls one night and she is surprised. Everything now seems strange. They get emotional once more. He says “I love you” but she is gobsmacked. She tries to appreciate the sound of the phrase they once played with, but now she can’t. Besides, Mr. Third party called some minutes before him and said the same thing which made her smile. She is warming into her cockles to find that little spark of emotion for him but it’s gone. It dawns on them how petty they have both become. She has been leading on Mr. Third party since they have been strained. (sighs). Now she is confused. He wants to fix things up. No way! She shoves him off. He keeps calling. He keeps trying. He cries over her. He chases her but soon realises there is a third party. He is sad (sniffs). By and by, he stops fighting. He stops trying but he finds himself coming back to you. His body soon stops fighting. He is hurt. He is moving on. She is happy away. She could make it work at this point but she doesn’t want to. She is not interested, she tells herself. Someday, she realises how much she missed him. She wants to call him but she fears she has long gone. She realises how much she still loves him and wants to be with him. Just when she tries to look for him, he is far gone into the abyss of no return. He has a new chapter, so does she.
At first they say ‘hi’ but three months down the road it becomes a matter of abnormal behaviour coupled with a silence and a grand finale encompassed in a letter saying ‘bye’ – Garrick says. If your relationship haven’t witnessed this sequence, cheerio! The whole of it could take months or years and it could be the contrary. Most relationships start with love but ends on indiscretion. Relationships will always fail when both persons do not take each other seriously. It starts dying the moment ‘the little things’ no longer matter to you both. Getting too comfortable with each other most times unveils how much of a mistake you have made by choosing each other. No matter how much you love a person, it is not worth it when they don’t take you seriously. Sometimes you feel you are with the perfect person until you realise they aren’t so into you as you are with them. People come into your life with their baggage; they only need the right person who would help unload them. The first mark of immaturity is the inability to define your purpose with a person in a relationship. Sometimes, you want it work out even when your partner isn’t interested as much. You find yourself doing practically everything to keep it; you call, you care, you love, you yearn, you burn, you heal and them burn again. You feel foolish at some point but it is what makes you strong enough. Do everything for your relationship to remain to the very extent that if it eventually fails, you could always look at yourself genuinely in the mirror and say “If I couldn’t make it work, at least I gave it my all.” Don’t be scared to leave those who forget how much every day meant to you both and those who take advantage of your emotions but make sure you did all you could and when you let go, never look back because people never really change. They’ll keep hurting you and you will keep striving. Learn to let go. It’s not weakness, it is liberation. Nobody in your life is irreplaceable. No matter how strong the emotion, it could become memories. Don’t regret your decision to let go of those who do not appreciate you. Be content you gave your all. Good persons are lost to immaturity, indiscretion, ego and insensitivity. Hold on to those persons who are willing to give you their all. You are lucky to have such if not blessed.
Adele commenting on her love life said “Today I’m beautiful, tomorrow I’m just a toe rag. Even when all I needed was someone to love me and make me feel like I’m the most important lady in his life, I never had the luxury. It’s some crazy thing but I’m okay I did my best and that makes me feel a lot better.” Tell him he is the best today. Tell her you are lucky to have her. Build your relationship instead of looking for petty reasons to botch it. No one person cannot be placed in the past no matter how relevant you are. Hold on to her/him because you may lose the best person in your life and use the whole of your life to regret it because not even marriage guarantees the best. When things get screwed, don’t ever regret letting go.
Set sail,go! Keep your eyes on the horizon because someone is always there, calling you home.I actually wrote this from night class. Got my inspiration from the painful story of a friend. Damn! Don’t mind my whimsical thoughts; Egbon an torts I go read jareh.
Get updates on our posts by joining our BBM Channel via C00396EEB, if you are reading from mobile click: http://pin.bbm.com/C00396EEB