My heart is beating fast as I sit in the waiting room of Adekunle Hospital waiting for my test result to come out. What predicament have I put myself into? And Kayode always warned me to stick to one girl. But no, the Oliver Twist in me kept wanting more. Today Ada, tomorrow Shikemi, next tomorrow Halima. Ha! I am finished.
What will I do if the test comes out positive? I would rather go to the Third Mainland Bridge and commit suicide than go through the stigma. Your friends would pretend to care when deep within they are afraid of contacting it from you. As you walk the streets people will begin to point fingers at you. Even your family members will disappoint you when you least expect. I don’t think I can bear any of that.
But, what if it comes out negative? If it comes out negative, I will go to church for the second time this year, (the first one was during New Year) and give God a thanksgiving offering. Then I will throw a thanksgiving party.
If the result is negative, I promise to go to church more often. I will read my Bible every day. Ok, maybe not every day but at least twice in a week. I will try to be more committed to you and will even make donations in church. God, it’s your boy Obi. You know I don’t usually ask you for anything, so you should know that this one is serious. Please, I’m am begging you, let the test result come out negative.
I sigh and try to distract myself from my present situation. Yes! Tomorrow is the beginning of FIFA. I cannot miss it for anything. Even if I’m tested positive, I will wait till the end of FIFA before embarking on my suicide mission. Because of it, Kayode subscribed to the DSTV yesterday. The thought of Kayode reminded me of the bet he and I made on which country would win the FIFA world cup. He had placed his bet on Nigeria (patriotic citizen) while I put mine on Brazil. The loser will give the winner 50k. Guy, 50k no be small money. That money has to be mine.
What if I lose? Nah, e no fit happen. I don’t know the Bible very well, but I know that if you have faith the size of a mustard seed, you can move a mountain. My own faith big pass mustard seed, so my team has to win.
“Sir,” a female nurse says bringing me back to reality, “the doctor is ready to see you.”
My heart is about to jump out of my chest and I feel like I may not even make it to the doctor’s office in a good state. I stand up and follow the nurse. Lord, Lord, Lord! This nurse is heavily loaded. She has this big blessing at her back. Between hers and Jennifer’s, which is bigger? Oh, God, I’m about to receive the biggest news of my life and I’m busy looking at a lady’s behind. God have mercy on you Obi. May women not end up killing you. say Amen for me abeg.
She opens the door for me when we get to the doctor’s office. Hmmm, gentle lady. If there is anything like that. She shuts the door once I am in and I am left to my fate.
“Have a seat,” the male doctor says to me. I do as I am told. The man smiles and begins to look at the result. Seriously, he couldn’t have checked it before I came in? Why put me through more suspense? My heart is about to explode any minute.
“Mr, Obi you are HIV_.” His phone begins to ring, preventing him from completing his statement. Just perfect, my day couldn’t get any more worse, could it? I sigh and try to remain as calm as possible. I bring out a handkerchief from my pocket to clean the sweat that is already trickling down my face.
“Sorry about that,” he apologises once he gets off the phone. Whatever, just get on with it already before I have a heart attack.
“You are HIV negative,” he tells me. “Congratulations.”
I place my hand on my chest and release a long breath. Oh, my God I’m negative, I am freaking negative! God, you are the best. My enemies tried to get me but they couldn’t, shame on all of them.
“Thank you,” I say and the man begins to lecture me on how I should be more careful next time blah blah blah. Like I need him to tell me that before I know I should be careful next time. Experience they say is the best teacher and Obi has learnt his lesson.
You see, this boy named Obi is the happiest boy in the world right now. From now on I will try to be a better person because I cannot come and go through this torture again. Not even in my dreams.
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