No life ever grows great until it is focused, dedicated and disciplined, and a great key to replacing an external locus of control with an internal locus of control is for you to decide today to take 100% responsibility for your life. Wait hold on…100%? I mean it is much easier for me to blame something outsides of myself for the parts of my life that I don’t like. For instance, if I am broke, I can easily blame my parents. That comforts me. But as I have learnt, you begin to grow and progress the moment you decide to take complete charge of your life and that means giving up complaining and blaming others for your circumstances and acknowledging that you have created everything up till now.
Here is how I look at it, just like you cannot solve a problem without first admitting that you have one, also if you realize that you have created your current conditions, then you can uncreate and recreate them at will. One vital area that we all need to take responsibility for our lives is in the area of our relationships and I am not just talking about a spouse or a boyfriend or girlfriend. Our relationships also include those ones we have with our family, friends, colleagues and others. According to Aristotle, “Man is a social animal”. You need people because you can’t survive in the world all by yourself and our ability as an individual to enter into and maintain high quality relationships is the true measure of the quality of our personality and mental health. You owe it to yourself to work towards having healthy and happy relationships because our relationships affect us either positively or negatively.
However, you have got to be selective in your relationships. Do not just hang around anybody that you do not want to be with. It is your life and it is you who creates the quality of life you lead and the results you produce. Look around you, what is the quality of your relationships with others? Are there people in your life who just have to walk into the room to totally drain you of energy? The ones I call the psychic vampires. Are there people who make you feel like you aren’t good enough and who focus only on your weaknesses rather than your strengths? Are you with a partner who makes you feel like a fool constantly and all you do is try to seek their approval and please them, forgetting yourself in the process? Have you got friends or colleagues who by just calling you on the phone can bring tension, headache and disorder to your day? Or perhaps, you are in a close knit relationship with people who tell you that your dreams are impossible and try to dissuade you from believing and pursuing your goals? The list is endless. Simply stop spending time with them and if that is impossible (bearing in mind that nothing is impossible, it’s always a choice) then severely decrease the amount of time you spend with them. Life is too short to spend it with negative people and in unhealthy and unhappy relationships. Get out already and avoid toxic people at all costs.
Instead, make conscious efforts to surround yourself with positive, nourishing and uplifting people, possibility thinkers, idealists and visionaries – people who believe in you, bring out the best in you and applaud your victories no matter how small. You would be surprised at how joyful your heart will be, you would even look better because you are happy and you’ve got peace of mind. Happy and healthy relationships will also give you increased positive emotions and eventually lead to a better performance.
So why sell yourself short? Go live a happier life!
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