I Have A Cold Feeling He Has Gone Mad Again – BABATOMIWA SERIKI

i-have-a-cold-feeling-he-has-gone-mad-again-penastory

I have a cold feeling that lingers for a while now and it cages my heart like frost. It comes once in a while and left in its wake is me quitting somebody. It has proven its damage a number of times and the shreds it leaves behind still ache like a fresh scar. My mind chafes from the pressure built deep inside of me every time this feeling starts. Such feeling like I am a werewolf howling at the full moon to ease past a transformation into the dark night; it’s hard to control and it hurts to scare off yet another significant figure from my life.

Good people are far and few between and yet I still send them packing. I know how hard you are trying to settle the thought of me being unrealistic, like “it’s a feeling, why can’t he shake it off…” But on the contrary, we all have our demons to battle, they might come in different forms but we all dream a nightmare. This is mine. I just worry whose turn it is this time: (family, friend or “lover”?).

I bet you will agree I have a family fit enough for the screen; my folks and three lovely sisters. The former I owe my enlightenment to, she paved a trail of exposure I followed through the years and she still doesn’t hesitate to guide me aright at her best. The latter, my “wing man”, my boon companion whom I relate my escapades from time to time, she holds my hip of secrets and if I should at all prove vulnerable and in need of stronghold, she’s boldly standing guard. The little one, not so little anymore, giving by her height and added slugs; selfless to a stretch and always got my best interest at heart. My folks are hard to ignore because they are all over you like hair; good hair that is. Has family failed me so much i want to give up on them? Am i being reasonable?

Friend: Or at least the vague definition of it. I’m not a people person and I vividly hold to account one time someone carefully analyzed me as an evil you like from a distance, once you close by then you might be disappointed. I have seen friends go, right after I bore them with my defensive attribute so I wouldn’t waste much energy to ward them off, most of them eventually leave.

“Lover”: I know some might wonder why I bless the word with a quote, well let’s think of it as emotion being acknowledged in a way. I am not the usual everyday dude every girl would fall head over heels for to say the least, it takes effort and persistence to reach me within. Over the years, I have built a wall so high around me to keep off advances, most try to climb over but give up before they reach the peak. I wouldn’t blame them; i mean who has time to nurture a grownup who is not willing to yield.

Just few people stick around and watch me unfold out of my shell and it works for a moment; i let off my stiffness and give room for companionship but just when the rugged trip starts to ease, i ruin it all, i make a mess of it.

Is this another episode of “he has gone mad again…?” Can I hold back the flames that keep burning from within and how long can i fight the urge. I just hope time tells a good story the next moment we talk about this.

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About PenAStory

PenAStory is a group of young individuals with a passion for literature who have decided to come together to write under one platform. We seek to educate, inform as well as entertain our readers. Also, because we are targeting young literature lovers, we would like to touch on other interests of their lives hence the relationship category and because we all need a bit of motivation in our lives, we decided inspiration won't be so bad
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2 Responses to I Have A Cold Feeling He Has Gone Mad Again – BABATOMIWA SERIKI

  1. ImmortalCrown says:

    hmm!!

    Like

  2. glo3nity says:

    I like the least of your words which is at the concluding part

    Like

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