The cooking was over and the meeting had started. We cleared up the kitchen and it was tasting time. With my plate stretched forth and my spoon lingering, my heart jumped for joy as a few spoons of jollof rice was hitting my plate. “Put more” I said happily. “I just want to taste.” As I relaxed to consume, I believed the sound waves must have carried the wrong sounds to my ears.
“Esther, what kind of man do you want to marry?” This question was unexpected and it came at the exact wrong time for I was not ready to answer at all. It swayed me off balance and changed the taste of the food in my mouth. I smiled as usual and tried to dodge the question. The atmosphere changed and I headed for the door. I thought in my mind I had won this one. Just then there was a call, “Esther, you’ve not answered the question.” Now I was sure that there was no running away. I had to take the bull by the horn.
“Umh.” I started, “he must be God fearing…”
“Of course he should,” the questionnaire retorted. You could imagine the look on my face, it wasn’t palatable, even though I smiled.
“He should be ready to bath the kids, feed them, clothe them and he should also be a good cook,” I continued.
“What of the height, should he be tall?” The questionnaire asked.
“No,” I replied. “an average height would do. He should be intelligent, good looking, matured and not from that local assembly……”
“Shhhhh! don’t say that,” I was cut off. What wrong thing have I said? I thought within. “Whether he is from here or there, what matters is that he should make you fulfilled. He should help you fulfill your destiny – God’s purpose for you. That should be the determining factor and not all you have listed. He should make you get to heaven.”
I felt so ashamed after that conversation. How selfish I had been. I soon discovered that marriage should not make you happy but make you holy. I broke down and prayed to God. Damage my ignorance, give me an open mind. Help me to let go and let you do you will. I felt I should share.
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