Sometimes, I wonder if the feeling is mutual. Today she is all sweet and lovey dovey, tomorrow she is the exact opposite. Could she be toiling with my emotions? Or is she just trying to test my patience and love for her? Damn!!! If only this babe knew that my biggest reward is to see her smile, know she is happy, and feel she is loved. *Deep sigh* Life they say, is sometimes unfair, but can’t she realise that’s the main reason why I’m here? Every day of my life, all I ever think of is to show her that life can be good when someone cares.
I think I am getting tired of this thing called love. I’m certain it’s not for everyone and I am the ring leader of such people. Ten years of trying and I still always feel like an unlucky bastard. They just seem to all derive fun in breaking my heart but the question is how do the other guys get so lucky? Just yesterday as I sat eating alone in a restaurant, I noticed a couple seated to my far right all loved up. You need to have seen how pretty and hot the girl looked and it made me wonder how on earth she ended up with a guy as ugly and haggard looking as that. Not that I am a fine boy but I swear, beside that guy, I have a 99.9% chance of winning Mr. World. I guess this explains the popular saying, “Person wey get head, no get cap while person wey get cap, no get head”. If I was a playboy I would understand but I am far from it. A very cool down to earth lover boy and to crown it all, I am too expressive and romantic to a fault in the words of my friend, Lumi, “Kunbi, you are a moist guy”. Could this be the reason? Because, I heard that girls of nowadays like the bad boys and not the good ones. Really? Who sees fire and runs into it?
After so many turndowns and series of heartbreaks, I finally found love. I tell my lover each time that the easiest part was getting to know her, the hardest past would be ever losing her, the best part is when we are together. No wonder my sister would always say, “God puts certain persons in our lives for a reason”. To me, I careless whatever God had in mind for bringing her into my life, just thankful he did! Nonetheless, I still wake up every morning with the intuition that her life can go on without me and that she can be happy without me, that she can survive without me. These thoughts kill me slowly and make me start doubting if she truly loves me, if there’s no one else except me, if another ten years from now, she would still be by my side.
Trust me, I remind her each day not to go for looks because they can deceive. I remind her not to go for wealth because even that can fade with time. I beg with tears in my eyes for her to please go for someone who makes her smile because it takes only a smile to make a dark day seem bright and make ones soul live on. I sometimes feel this is a selfish request because in all honesty, I cannot afford to give her expensive gifts or meals, I don’t have money to take her out, all I have to give, is a smile.
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