If you missed the firs installment of this article, you can CLICK HERE.
Previously, we learnt how crucial it is to verbally teach our kids certain things we would want them to learn firsthand from us and not their peers. This plays a good part in sex education. We can’t afford to take the risk of assuming that our teenagers with ‘inexperienced hormones’ should automatically know what to do when they are pressured. A lot of times, verbal teaching of the child strengthens the resolve of that child and boosts confidence.
There is more to raising kids however, there is the other side to it which should be given special attention. As humans, we are a direct product of our environment, particularly our immediate environment. This means that we are heavily influenced by what happens around us. Our physical senses take in information and thus our consciousness is shaped. How does this have to do with raising kids? A whole lot! You say nasty things in front of your kids (sometimes even to your kids) and you expect them to say only nice words to their siblings? Wish on dear! How about in relating with your spouse? You always let your pride get in the way. A lot of begging has to be done before you help your partner and you expect your children to be liberal givers and helpers? I laugh in Chinese! You see, the axiom, “action speaks louder than words” was not formulated by one old jobless monk sitting in a temple and thinking to himself, “let me say something philosophical.” Even if that was the way it came about, it makes 100% sense and we have seen it reflected over and over in our own lives. You can’t help it. Once you’ve got a kid, you don’t only become a parent but also a mentor. You become the first mentor your child unconsciously looks up to. Maybe later, your child may have other mentors and elope with a lover (we all hope that doesn’t happen to our kids) but the early years are shaped by what your child sees and hears you do and say. It’s only natural.
In this 21st century, the media and other factors may contribute to other aspects of child training. One may think, “I’m training my child well but I don’t know where he/she is getting this nasty behaviour I see.” Like I said in the previous part of this article, you may not be the only mentor your child has. With the influx of information in this digital age, the best we can do to protect our children from negative influence is only our best. Being the best parent you can be is not only in feeding your child every day. The question to be asked should be, when my child faces challenges from society, from peers, will he/she run to me for comfort and support or am I just one of the many options that may never be considered? Think about it.
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