She wasn’t very attractive neither was she a celebrity but as she walked slowly into the room, she looked around at the numerous eyes that were fixated on her and smiled to herself. “Some things never change,” she thought proudly. Everywhere she went, she had the same effect on people. Many wondered how she always managed to enter a room and light it up and she always revealed her secret. “It’s pretty easy, you know? The moment I began to love myself, the universe responded to me with open arms. The secret is self-love.”
Self-love is an important ingredient to a happy life. It’s not often a heaven-given gift but something which is often learnt. It all starts with how you see yourself. Think about it, do you genuinely give yourself the love that you so desperately want? I once attended a life changing seminar for ladies and the coach asked us to look into a mirror for some time and repeat the words “I love you” over and over again to our reflections. At the end of the exercise, he asked us, “How many of you found that exercise really awkward and had to look away from the mirror a couple of times”. I raised my hand up and was astonished to find several hands up. Now try that, if you have a problem doing it, then you don’t quite have the healthy dose of self-love that you need.
You just have to love yourself. You owe that much to yourself. Self-love increases one’s self-esteem and confidence which is very important in our relationships with people. Before entering into a relationship, first of all spend time alone, get in touch with yourself and be happy alone. Learn to be comfortable eating alone, sleeping alone and doing things alone and most importantly love yourself so much that you can feel the love when you look at yourself in a mirror because if you don’t and then you depend on someone else( boyfriend, girlfriend, friend) for love and approval. You are already done for. You are at that person’s mercy and under his or her control. If you are a girl like me, lack of self-love can make you place your happiness and sense of worth in the hands of whoever you are with. His approval sends you to pure ecstasy; his disapproval? It sends you straight to despair.
Most of us have a “give me” mentality which is killing us and denying us of true happiness. We want people to choose us. To favour us. To give us.
“Give me money”
” Give me love”
” Give me happiness”
“Give me this, give me that”
“Give me” is often a declaration of dependence that keeps you down. You want love? Love yourself unconditionally and watch others react to you in like manner.
Self-love first comes from a strong sense of self. Who are you? What’s the why behind everything you do? These are questions you need to answer to enable you love yourself.
You begin to love yourself when you accept things that you cannot change such as your upbringing, your height, your appearance, your past. It’s high time you stopped wasting energy thinking about things you can’t change. Rather, do something about the things that you can change. You need to lose weight? Miserable at your job? Hate your friends? Then do something about that!
Love your hair!
Love your nose!
Love your eyes!
Your stomach, your legs. Don’t stop loving yourself. Self-love will give you confidence, peace, freedom to be who you truly are. In case you still don’t get it. Let me say it as sinply as I can. “You are incredibly valuable. Choose yourself. Love yourself. Unconditionally. Now sit back and watch the world respond back with love.
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