Open Letter To My Wife

weekend muse with kunbi black penastory

Iyawo mii,

I’ve been waiting to say all this to you—and even more—for a long time. It might surprise you that I am writing to you publicly; but sometimes when there is too much to say, it’s better to write than to speak. Likewise, when you are super proud and sure of what you writing, it’s better to have witnesses.

We both can’t deny that what we share is second to none. You and I know—without ever needing to say so—how in love we are. Are we complaining? Hell no! In fact, we have accepted it, without even feeling the need to care about the circumstances surrounding our meeting as well as our remaining together. 

I remember the first time I met you…arrggghhh!!! Okay fine! I know I can’t remember because you had attended a conference I talked at and walked up to me at about the same time other participants did. So, even though you claimed to have spoken to me and I responded, I still find it hard to recall but it is okay. At least I’m glad our first official meeting remains clear in my head. It was one of the best moments of my life, and I thank God for giving me such a moment. When I saw you, you seemed like a gift wrapped up neatly personally by God.  There was something else about you: even though you weren’t one of those naturally sociable people, you told me everything about yourself: your home, your family, your feelings and your work. I was your emotional support, and I seemed to occupy a unique and special place in your heart. When you told me your griefs and sorrows and cried into my chest, it seemed I could make you feel safe and secure by being close to you. I felt so happy and proud to give you this support and comfort.

Today makes it exactly ten years with you my lover but five years officially as a legally married couple and each day I thank God we didn’t listen to the doctors nor friends and family members. I know they all thought we were mad. Sincerely, at some point I felt so too. I remember my dad looking me right in the eyes and concluding that he had wasted his money in sending me to school. Could you blame him? Hell no! How was he to comprehend that his highly educated and well exposed son was thinking of marrying someone with the same AS genotype as him. Lol…I remember your mom’s sudden facial switch from a smile to a stern that read “would you two idiots leave my house already”. She was ready to chase us back to the hot Kaduna sun not minding how far we had come. Could you blame her? She was only after the best for us. She couldn’t imagine herself losing another Tosin. She thought you should have known better and losing a sister was enough reason to stop you from losing a daughter by marrying me.
My mom didn’t even say anything all through the drama. I looked straight into her eyes each time and all I could see was someone who knew all along but was only hoping it would never be true. Thank God for your dad, the only one with a white man’s mentality. I remember him just asking us point blank in his apartment at Quatar.

“Do you kids know very well what you getting into and are you ready for it?” he asked the question like it was for both of us but then he stared only at me for the answer.

I guess he just wanted to be sure I wasn’t messing around with his most priced possession-you. Aunty B just tried her best possible not to interfere, maybe, she just felt sorry for us or was it cos she was one of the few that watched us grow in love and she knew how much splitting would damage us. Alhaja gave us her blessings after three hours of preaching. Now we were off to Abuja to see the rest of your mum’s folks. Above all, her MOTHER. We thought she was going to tear us up but the exact opposite happened. She just kept crying and laughing in between. I guess all she was just after was her baby’s happiness.

My sister made matters worse. She kept clamouring about how much she loved you and us together but then her medical side kept insisting we should back off and live the rest of our lives as good friends. Ahhh!!! Wish it was that easy. We gave them all a week to make up their minds else we were just going to elope. Daily, we received calls from each of them giving their blessings and warning us fiercely that we were alone if our baby turned out to be SS. Lol…if only they knew the agreement we had with God. Ten years after, I come back home to meet you and the beautiful twins- Fefe & Fara sleeping cozily in our bed. I cover you all up and slide in to make the family picture complete. Just before turning off the bedside lamp, my eyes meet with the first edition of our Church’s monthly magazine. We made the front page as the AS couple who gave up their sexual desires till marriage and in return got a set of AA twins.

Eyes closed, I begin to reflect again on all we have been through, our plans, setbacks and achievements and I conclude that God never forsakes His own. In fact, He is the best business partner.

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